Sydney Long – The Spirit of the Plains. 1914. Wikimedia Commons.

“A free spirit is not bound by this, that, matter, materialism or opinion. They sing, dance and flow on the wind – for they are at one with it. They are nothing and everything – void and expanse. Even space and time does not confine or define them. For they are pure energy itself.”

Rasheed Ogunlaru.

• Are You Free-Spirited? What Does This Even Mean?

The quotation above gives a good explanation of being a free spirit: unbound, flowing, free as the wind, energetic….

In terms of our everyday selves, it means that we are able to risk free-thinking, ignoring fears of being seen as weird or stupid, or worrying about the disapproval of others. It involves times when we can lift the societal and cultural constraints on our patterns of thought and allow ourselves to be authentic and have some uninhibited thought-freedom.

It is not always easy to be different, to think differently. It is often tempting to fit in with the ways of thinking of others around us. Real free-spiritedness means that we have the strength and the confidence to speak up for ourselves, even when we feel we are in a sea of disapproval.

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

 Steve Jobs

Whilst being a free spirit is a wonderful aim in life, we also need to bear in mind that there are no absolutes, that no-one can ever be completely free. We are all members of a society that has cultural norms, rules, attitudes, approaches. It is impossible- and maybe undesirable- to be totally unaffected by all this, to be totally individuated. As I have said, it is something to aim for.

• “Owning” Ourselves

Charles Levier – The Good Place [c.1960] Gandalf’s Gallery. Flickr.

“The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.”

Friedrich Nietzsche

Whilst it is crucial that we aim to be free, to ‘own’ ourselves, this quotation recognises how very difficult it can be to maintain one’s spirit of freedom when there is pressure around us to ‘fit in’ with other people. This can happen in families, at work, or socially.

If we insist on our own authenticity and autonomy, despite this external demand to conform, there is frequently a price to pay. It can result in feeling isolated, excluded, lonely, afraid. Nietzsche underlines, however, that being in charge of oneself, that is, truly and freely controlling our own lives, and knowing what we think, feel and believe, is worth any price.

‘Free Bird Spirit.’ Oil on Canvas. Linda Berman.

This free-spiritedness, this self-sovereignty, means that, despite the rejection from others who do not understand us, (and who may be ‘fitting in’ themselves in order to feel accepted by the ‘tribe,’) we will feel strong and content through freely knowing who we are.

• Knowing Ourselves

In order to have the confidence to be free-thinking and free-spirited, we do need to have self-knowledge and to see things, within us and outside of us, as clearly as we can, unclouded by rigid thinking, biases or fixities.

Max Beckmann – Paris Society [1931] Gandalf’s Gallery. Flickr.

“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.”

Anäis Nin.

How do we see the world, and how much of that view is a projection of our own inner landscape?

Through self-awareness, perhaps gained through therapy, we can learn to see more clearly, freer of past issues that can cloud our view. We will come to trust ourselves, identifying and clarifying our beliefs, our ways of seeing and thinking about ourselves and the world.

This requires confidence, self-knowledge and a feeling of self-worth; it calls for a conviction that we deserve to have faith in ourselves, our own opinions, our honesty, decisions and beliefs. An attitude of tolerance and compassion towards ourselves, and especially our own mistakes, is important here. If we can forgive and be kind to ourselves, then it is more likely that we will feel the confidence and self-trust to become more free spirited.

Self-critical people tend to have a low self-image and struggle to develop this trust. They may doubt themselves and the world, allowing others to take over and drown out their own thoughts, feelings and beliefs.

Self-criticism will keep us bound, caught within a cycle of feeling inadequate and not as good as others. When we are not too confident in ourselves, we may imagine that everyone is talking in a critical way about us, when in reality we are judging ourselves and feeling low in spirit.

The Secret. Felix Nussbaum. Wikimedia Commons

“The opinion which other people have of you is their problem, not yours.”

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

“No name-calling truly bites deep unless, in some dark part of us, we believe it. If we are confident enough then it is just noise.”

Laurell K. Hamilton

“I care for myself. The more solitary, the more friendless, the more unsustained I am, the more I will respect myself.”

Charlotte Brontë

• Finding Like-Minded People.

Wheat Field with a Lark – Vincent Van Gogh. Wikioo.

“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there.”

Rumi

Surrounding ourselves with empathic, like-minded people and choosing our friends wisely, is helpful in terms of self-care. We all need people who will support and value us, people who are encouraging, non-judgemental, honest and loyal. Such people are not easy to find, but they can be important to our sense of freedom and confidence.

Without them, we will need to be extra strong within ourselves, knowing that, if we are able to be free-spirited, we can survive on our own and be enough for ourselves, like Charlotte Brontë…. or Shirley Maclaine….

“I don’t need anyone to rectify my existence. The most profound relationship we will ever have is the one with ourselves.”

Shirley MacLaine

• Growing Old Disgracefully: Eccentric, Crazy… Or Simply Freer To Be Oneself?

There is often a liberating sense of being free of others’ opinions as people age; whyever should we grow old ‘gracefully?’ Women, especially, have been frequently instructed in the past to be ‘ladylike,’ to disappear into the background as they age, acting dignified rather than expressing their true selves, their spirit of freedom and their zest for life.

Below are some images and quotations about the freedom to be oneself at any age, no matter how that might seem to others…..

To Each His Own – Jacek Yerka.1988. Wikioo.

“At age 20, we worry about what others think of us. At age 40, we don’t care what they think of us. At age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all.”

Ann Landers

Woman in a Purple Coat – (Henri Matisse)

Warning (extract) By Jenny Joseph.

“When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we’ve no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I’m tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick flowers in other people’s gardens
And learn to spit.
Jenny Joseph

from Warning:When I am an Old Woman I shall Wear Purple (Profile 2021)

When we age, we often feel freer from societal niceties and ‘rules;’ some might think we are crazy, have odd ideas, but perhaps being free-spirited enough to be seen as a little crazy, or maybe eccentric, can be refreshing and creative.

“Old age is an excellent time for outrage. My goal is to say or do at least one outrageous thing every week.”

Maggie Kuhn

“Ageing is an extraordinary process whereby you become the person you always should have been”​

David Bowie

“You don’t understand, you fool’ says Yegor, looking dreamily up at the sky. ‘You’ve never understood what kind of person I am, nor will you in a million years… You just think I’m a mad person who has thrown his life away… Once the free spirit has taken hold of a man, there’s no way of getting it out of him.”

 Anton Chekhov, About Love and Other Stories

Better Than De Kooning – Peter Saul. Wikioo

“Am I crazy?” she asked. “I feel like I am sometimes.”
“Maybe,” he said, rubbing her forehead. “But don’t worry about it. You need to be a little bit crazy. Crazy is the price you pay for having an imagination. It’s your superpower. Tapping into the dream. It’s a good thing not a bad thing.”

Ruth Ozeki.

Beryl Cook. Tea In The Garden. Wikimedia Commons

“Where’s your will to be weird?”

Jim Morrison

Part 2 of this post will be published on waysofthinking.co.uk next Tuesday.

©Linda Berman.