Turning Figure – Francis Bacon. Wikioo.

“In every life there is a turning point. A moment so tremendous, so sharp and clear that one feels as if one’s been hit in the chest, all the breath knocked out, and one knows, absolutely knows without the merest hint of a shadow of a doubt that one’s life will never be the same.”

Julia Quinn

Can you identify an important turning point in your life? Can you think of a time when things became different in some ways, forever?

A turning point implies change, a complete change of direction. As the quotation indicates, this can feel totally life altering, having reached a juncture that you know will make things noticeably different.

This may have been precipitated by a crisis, such as a loss, or by something momentous and wonderful like the birth of a baby or a great achievement. However, no turning point is black and white in terms of feelings; there are, inevitably, losses and gains in every change.

For example, moving house can be a wonderful and refreshing turning point in our lives and we may love the new area and the extra benefits of living there. On the other hand, we may miss the good aspects of where we lived before.

• Unanticipated turning points

Edvard Munch – Taken by Surprise. 1907 Wikimedia Commons.

“It is strange, but true, that the most important turning-points of life often come at the most unexpected times and in the most unexpected ways.”

Napoleon Hill

There will be many turning points in our lives. The smallest of events, the off-the-cuff comment, the surprise meeting, can all be turning points. Sometimes, words in a book, quotation or poem can prompt us to think in a way that dramatically changes things for us.

Leander Engström Girl with Book. 1916. Wikimedia Commons.

“Books can be dangerous. The best ones should be labelled “This could change your life.”

Helen Exley

Have you ever read a poem, an article, or a book that substantially affected your outlook on life? These can reveal different ways of thinking, a new outlook, a fresh viewpoint. Reading inevitably shows us another person’s perspective and enables us to see the world through an alternative viewing lens.

“Reading is the sole means by which we slip, involuntarily, often helplessly, into another’s skin, another’s voice, another’s soul.”

Joyce Carol Oates

              The Turning Point, Alan Thornhill. 2008. Wikimedia Commons

• Turning points in therapy

The Truth Unveiled. 1913 – Egon Schiele. Wikioo.

“The turning point is that moment of naked acceptance of the truth.”

Ellyn Stern

There can be many turning points in the therapy process, from beginning to end; for example, the establishment of the therapeutic alliance, to help the client feel trusting and safe, can be a defining moment that means that the work of therapy will really begin.

Shifts can gradually occur during the therapy process in the client’s awareness of self and other, in their thoughts, behaviour and feelings. These may be achieved through interpretation and the therapist showing the client a different perspective, a new way of seeing.

Not all turning points, in life or in therapy, are massive and transformative; some can be smaller and less noticeable.  Nevertheless they can still contribute to an accumulated collection of new truths that may, indeed, result in life-change.

Oliver Barrett – Turning Point. 2016. At Canary Wharf, London. Wikimedia Commons

“Sometimes a change of perspective is all it takes to see the light.”

Dan Brown

It may be that the client has a moment of intense insight, facilitated by the safe and confidential atmosphere in the therapy room and by the therapist’s empathy. The client will likely reveal at such times that they have gained a new understanding of old issues, a realisation that could mark a turning point in their lives.

• Crises as turning points

It may happen that a crisis occurs in life, perhaps involving loss, divorce, or injury.

“The turning point in the life of those who succeed usually comes at the moment of some crisis.”

Napoleon Hill

Whilst such experiences may feel devastating at the time, they can herald change and the gaining of new awareness of self and other. Such turning points may be scary, and we may need some support from friends, family, or professionals to facilitate our journey onwards.

Redirect. Creative Commons by DezsoArt. deviant art.com.

“Every time I thought I was being rejected from something good, I was actually being re-directed to something better.”

Steve Maraboli

When we cannot change what has happened, we need to look at what we can have control over, which might make us feel we still have some personal power. Adapting to new circumstances, especially when life throws us curve balls, is part of being resilient.

Regarding a rejection as a redirection, as the quotation points out, can give us renewed energy and enthusiasm, and the faith to carry on. Perseverance is the key to many people’s success in life; even when things feel down and a little hopeless, keeping on, despite all the setbacks, may be the way through.

‘Perseverance is a great element of success. If you only knock long enough and loud enough at the gate, you are sure to wake up somebody.’

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

• Life’s journeys, turning points… and circles

Tuscany – Henry Roderick Newman. 1896. Wikioo

“Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colours. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.”

Terry Pratchett

Life is often seen as a voyage, a journey. It can be both an internal and an external journey. We can look deeply within ourselves for a way through, and we can travel the world to find our truths; both of these journeys may help us in different ways.

Journeying, perhaps to another country, can mean that, on our return, we may see people, places and situations with new eyes. This can represent a turning point and can be an invigorating experience.

Once back home, nothing may have changed, but if the place or the people do appear different, it is likely we have changed after our travels. Suddenly, we see aspects that we have never noticed before.

Being away has widened our vision, shedding new light on what we are seeing. Thus, whilst we appear to have gone back to the same place, for us, it is a different place.

The Return – David Shanks Ewart. 1928. Wikioo.

“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new lands but seeing with new eyes.”

Marcel Proust

We will return home and it will be different because we are different. A new journey is ahead of us, and yet we may, once again, return to the same place in the future, but with new knowledge. The turning point may see us travelling in the same direction, but having made a new internal journey. This is the paradox of the turning point.

“Life is a circle. The end of one journey is just the beginning of the next.”

Joseph M. Marshall III

Within the circle of life, there are many paths we can take, many crossroads and turning points, roads that may lead to the same place eventually. Ultimately, we will in some way return to the beginning, with years of new knowledge and awareness.

“What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from.”

T. S. Eliot

As we come across the many different routes, it is then that we have choices. The choices are infinite. No two people take the same path through life.

“I know there is no straight road
No straight road in this world
Only a giant labyrinth
Of intersecting crossroads”

Federico Garcia Lorca

Finding new paths, following new signposts, involve coping with uncertainty and venturing into the unknown. However, without taking such risks at some points, we would remain static.

Approaching a turning point in our lives will signify a time of contemplation, of reflection, of taking stock and, in time, making decisions…

Young Woman Reflecting – 1894. Mary Stevenson Cassatt. Wikioo.

“There comes a turning point in the life of every person when they reflect on their journey and work and ponder on the next road to take. Is this the pinnacle, the ultimate? What next?”

Mohanlal

©Linda Berman