England’s Pride and Glory. 1894. Thomas Davidson. Wikimedia Commons

James Ensor, Seven Deadly Sins, Pride (1904). etching. Wikimedia Commons.

“There are two kinds of pride, both good and bad. ‘Good pride’ represents our dignity and self-respect. ‘Bad pride’ is the deadly sin of superiority that reeks of conceit and arrogance.”

John C. Maxwell

There have been many black and white, binary statements made about pride through the centuries. It is often thought of as a negative state, a kind of arrogance, but perhaps that is giving the full concept of pride a bad press.

I would put pride on a continuum; at the ‘healthy’ end is pride that is pure, humble and unpretentious, at the unhealthy end is the kind of pride that is all conceit and pomposity, a feeling of being better than others.

Perhaps it is never simply one thing or another, good or bad, sinful or angelic, but a mixture of feelings; we are all positioned somewhere on the continuum and are rarely extreme enough to merit being positioned at either end.

Pride (Superbia), from The Seven Vices. George Pencz. 1500-1550. Wikimedia Commons.

“The Bible and several other self help or enlightenment books cite the Seven Deadly Sins. They are: pride, greed, lust, envy, wrath, sloth, and gluttony. That pretty much covers everything that we do, that is sinful… or fun for that matter.”

Dave Mustaine

• ‘Unhealthy,’ noxious pride

Pride that is unhealthy involves arrogance, feelings of superiority, condescension, and a desire to put others down in order to boost the self. There are many stories of pride that became ruinous of people’s lives. For example, it was toxic pride that brought down Satan, Oedipus, Icarus, and Arachne.

“Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.”

Proverbs 16:18

“Hubris calls for nemesis, and in one form or another it’s going to get it, not as a punishment from outside but as the completion of a pattern already started.”

Mary Midgley

What exactly is ‘hubris’ and where did the word originate? It comes from ancient Greek and it originally meant ‘the use of violence to humiliate others.’ It later evolved to describe the act of going against the rules of human behaviour and insulting or attempting to demean the gods. The gods were a jealous group and would not tolerate any challenge to their divinity.

“Most of the trouble in the world is caused by people wanting to be important.”

T. S. Eliot

A famous example of hubris in Greek mythology can be found in the story of Arachne, a stunningly talented weaver who strongly displeased and insulted the goddess Athena. Arachne saw herself as just as good a weaver as Athena and boastfully challenged the goddess to enter a weaving contest with her.

Arachne’s tapestry was better, and Athena was raging, destroying her opponent’s work and attacking her for ‘transgressing’ against a god. The gods detested hubris in anyone and, ultimately Athena changed Arachne into the first ever spider, (hence the word ‘arachnid’)so that her talent would not be lost, as she and her offspring would be weaving webs forever.

The Fall of Icarus – Marc Chagall. 1975. Wikioo.

“Be bold enough to know that you can make a difference. Be humble enough to know that you’re a limited creature.”

Alexander Den Heijer.

Having a sense of superiority may indicate an inner lack of confidence, despite the high-handed façade. Sadly and frequently, such hubristic attitudes serve to ultimately backfire on the arrogant person…

“Hubris, arrogance, is just one step ahead of loss of integrity, because if you think you’re better than other people, you know more, then you’re going to think, as many leaders have, that the rules don’t apply to them – so they lose their integrity.”

Charles Koch

Jung also points out, that, at some level, the arrogance and pride will not feel quite right to the arrogant person, and will be a little disturbing. The hubris deceives others because it conceals insecurity.

The person who brags excessively, appears overblown, requires constant praise, needs to be the centre of attention and demeans others, is using arrogance as a defence against feeling just the opposite inside.

Competing and constantly wanting to win over other people will prevent learning from and listening to others. The lack of confidence is often hidden from the self, yet such a person will not be entirely happy, living a lie.

“Through pride we are ever deceiving ourselves. But deep down below the surface of the average conscience a still, small voice says to us, something is out of tune.”

Carl Jung

• ‘Healthy’ pride and humility

William-Adolphe Bouguereau (1825-1905) – Maternal Admiration (1869) Wikimedia Commons

“Bringing a tiny human into this world is indeed something to be proud of.”

Mums Invited

We all experience feelings of pride at some time, in ourselves, our children, our achievements.

It is difficult to detect exactly how much is good, clean pride and to what degree a little arrogance may be creeping in! Perhaps we may feel a soupçon of smugness when we discover that we have done better than someone else. We are, after all, only human.

In a recent Guardian book review (10/12/24) of  Seven Deadly Sins by Guy Lechsziner, published by HarperCollins, Phillip Ball writes:

“Seven Deadly Sins takes the case-study format pioneered by Oliver Sacks in using dysfunction to explore the neurological origins of behaviour…Leschziner, a consultant neurologist at Guy’s Hospital in London, explores the physiological and psychological roots of these “failings” and argues that, in mild degree, all might be considered not just universal but necessary human attributes. The goal, he implies, is not to renounce them but to align our natural impulses with the demands of living healthily and productively in society.”

It is the last sentence of this quotation that is, I feel, crucially important when we think about the ‘sin’ of pride. According to Leschziner, we need not to get rid of it, but rather to learn to adapt it to the ways of the society in which we live.

This is an excellent thought, one which certainly applies to many of our intrinsic human ‘urges.’ It is about learning to control and mould our instinctive feelings to allow us to belong and be accepted as a part of the prevailing culture.

Nevertheless, it is important that, most of the time, we focus on humility, remembering that we will become very unpopular if we constantly display over-confidence and conceit.

“With pride, there are many curses. With humility, there come many blessings.”

Ezra Taft Benson

However, it is certainly possible to experience both pride, and humility. They do not have to invalidate or cancel each other out.

We rightly feel a robust and wholesome sense of pride when our children do well, when we are offered a job, or when we create something beautiful. This pride is indeed, healthy, vital and important for us, for it helps to affirm our sense of who we are, boosting our self-esteem and our wellbeing.

This does not have to make us feel superior. We can also be proud of other people, overcoming any competitive or envious feelings in order to value our friends and family, without constantly striving to prove ourselves as better than them.

Humility has a significant place in this, in realising that we do have weaknesses and that we make mistakes. We are not perfect, but perhaps we can find pride in comparing ourselves, not with others, but with ourselves in the past.

• The Pride parade

Gay Pride. Raphael Perez. Flickr.

“What I liked about the rainbow is that it fits all of us. It’s all the colours. It represents all the genders. It represents all the races. It’s the rainbow of humanity.”

Gilbert Baker

The Pride group has brought freedom, friendship and autonomy to people; it is an annual celebration of the contributions made by the LGBTQIA+ communities and an expression and celebration of their many and diverse cultures.

Their annual parade makes people feel visible and emphasises acceptance and equality, for they will likely have suffered years of vilification and discrimination merely for being who they truly are. LGBTQIA+ people’s pride in relation to their identity is manifest, as people march delightedly and jubilantly,  affirming their true rights to respect and inclusivity.

Pride Parade in Calgary, Alberta Canada 2018.Toni Reed. Unsplash.

“Here, queer, full of pride.”

Radius Burik

**********

Allowing ourselves to feel proud does not need to make us arrogant or superior, but it will give us the warm glow of having achieved something worthwhile. This is a wonderful feeling and we need to allow ourselves to experience it without guilt or reticence when we have achieved something good.

Rosa Bonheur (1881) – The Lion at Home. Wikimedia Commons.

“I am impelled, not to squeak like a grateful and apologetic mouse, but to roar like a lion out of pride in my profession.”

John Steinbeck

© Linda Berman