Alexej von Jawlensky. Bildnis des Tänzers Alexander Sacharoff. Wikimedia Commons
“The sort of twee person who thinks swearing is in any way a sign of a lack of education or a lack of verbal interest is just a f*****g lunatic.”
Sir Stephen Fry
Is it at all possible that swearing could sometimes be beneficial? And if so, how? Some people might read this headline and recoil in horror at the thought that I, an apparently ‘respectable’ psychotherapist, have chosen such a title!
Could this be an April Fool’s Day blog post? No? Then how can swearing really be helpful?
Historically, swearing and cursing date back to the beginnings of language. Expletives have frequently centred around aspects of life that usually remain personal, such as sexual activities, body parts, and bodily functions, which people often regard as vulgar and are stunned and shocked at the sound of them.
‘Shock’ 2006, Pierre Cherbit. Wikimedia Commons
Swearing on rare occasions can be very effective in its shock value. If you swear constantly, then people will barely notice it. But when you do it rarely, it can have a big effect.
Thus such words- and we all know them- become taboo; we ‘shouldn’t really talk of these things,’ but keep them, quite literally, under wraps. That is part of their ability to shock; the explosive swear word can be a kind of public exposure of the private.
As language, and people, develop, swear words tend to change. Some become less shocking through overuse. Over time, some words disappear into history. For example, the word fopdoodle, now obsolete, was, in Victorian times, an insulting swear word meaning an insignificant fool, or someone who makes bad decisions.
- The downsides: when swearing is definitely not appropriate!
Max Beckmann 1931. Party in Paris. Wikimedia Commons
Let us start with the negative effects of swearing.
In some circles, as mentioned above, swearing can be perceived as very undesirable, causing extreme offence and bad feeling. It may be regarded as a low and rough way of expressing feelings, one which comes too easily into speech and is viewed with disdain. It all depends on where you are or who you are with.
Alexej Jawlensky – Portrait of a Girl. 1909. Wikimedia Commons
“The foolish and wicked practice of profane cursing and swearing is a vice so mean and low that every person of sense and character detests and despises it.”
George Washington
It is extremely important to be able to assess the situation in terms of suitability. Using swearwords inappropriately, or over-using them, can actually intensify the rage in an argument, making things more difficult in a relationship. It can also give the person who swears a bad reputation, especially in ‘polite’ social circles, such as the Max Beckmann Party in Paris, pictured above.
Some people have no qualms about swearing out loud, regardless of the situation they are in; at times, this could be dangerous and distracting, especially in relation to road rage.
“Road rage impacts your driving skills and judgment as
you operate your vehicle with less attention to the people
and things around you. When anger takes over, logical
thinking takes a backseat.”(Understanding Road Rage: How To Manage Your Own Emotions on the Road and Deal With Others.Sieben Polk)
At other times, when there is no risk to life or limb, and when not directed as someone in a coercive manner, a few choice expletives can be a way of really expressing one’s irritation or anger.
Every one of us has the need to let rip, as discussed below, to have a cathartic experience and express our rage. However, this needs to be exercised with self-control and, it is important to emphasise that it is not a license to be violent or abusive to another person.
Swearing directly at another person to exert control or power is also highly abusive and harmful. Verbal abuse and extreme, shouting anger can be scarring and highly intimidating.
It is also important to bear in mind that swearing in the street, if heard by a police officer, can be an arrestable offence.
Adriaen Brouwer, The Bitter Potion (ca. 1630) Wikimedia Commons
Many people regard swear words as ‘dirty,’ and regard children’s use of them as worthy of punishment.
Washing Mouth With Soap. Boys’ Life – Apr 1937. Wikimedia Commons.
- Religion and swearing
Jan Steen – Family Meal. Wikimedia Commons. Circa between 1658 and 1666
“Profanity is never heard in the well-ordered home. Swearing is a vice that bespeaks a low standard of breeding. Blasphemous exclamations drive out all spirit of reverence.”
David O. McKay
Through the ages, humankind has selected words associated with religion to function as curses. The hope was, that if the words called on God to help them, the other would be destroyed.
‘Taking the Lord’s name in vain’ is regarded as sinful in the Old Testament, and early curses often centred round parts of God’s body, such as ‘by God’s wounds,’ (Zounds.)This was a rebellious and angry reaction against the religious prohibitions of disrespecting God.
“When you transgress the rules, that’s where you get the swear words.”
(Melissa Mohr, Holy Sh*t: A Brief History of Swearing..2013. OUP, USA)
Swearing has been seen as ‘profane,’ and using religious words to express extreme angry or insulting feelings has been regarded as shocking and disgustingly disrespectful by many.
“Let us consider that swearing is a sin of all others peculiarly clamorous, and provocative of Divine judgment.”
Isaac Barrow
“Researchers from Britain’s Keele University have found that swearing after an injury may help alleviate pain. Evidently, the pain that you feel is inversely proportional to the number of middle names you give Jesus.”
Stephen Colbert
“Take not God’s name in vain; select a time when it will have effect.”
Ambrose Bierce
- Swearing: the benefits.
Whists certainly not wishing to cause offence, I must emphasise the fact that there is an evidence base which demonstrates in a scientific way that swearing, in certain circumstances, can be good for our health and wellbeing.
This post is entitled ‘Could Swearing Unlock Surprising Power In Your Life?’ Let us investigate how this could be…
“Well-educated people with plenty of words at their disposal, a 2015 study found, were better at coming up with curse words than those who were less verbally fluent.”
“Science has also found a positive link between profanity and honesty. People who cursed lied less on an interpersonal level, and had higher levels of integrity overall, a series of three studies published in 2017 found.”
, CNN.June 1, 2023
“People that are good at language are good at generating a swearing vocabulary.”
The American video, above, describes how swearing can actually reduce stress, pain, and can aid communication. It also emphasises how swearing at work is inappropriate; however, even in a work setting, it emphasises that ‘a little swearing here and there can’t hurt’ and can, when appropriate, bond staff.
The quotations above also emphasise that swearing is not only the prerogative of the uneducated or the verbally challenged; those who are proficient in language and who possess considerable academic prowess may still use expletives, and find them releasing and cathartic.
“…the voice was indisputable. It continued to swear with that breadth and variety that distinguishes the swearing of a cultivated man.”
H. G. Wells
Swearing can be safe way of ‘letting off steam.’ Consider this scenario: there are several young staff working as servers in a busy, smart restaurant, where a customer is loudly complaining and being unfair and unreasonable with the staff.
They handle the customer with respect, and then they need to escape into the kitchen to utter expletives about the complainer. This helps relieve group stress and anger at the injustice of it all when they work so hard to please for little recompense.
- The freedom of self-expression
Tracey Emin. At the signing of her book Strangeland. Gary D. GDStinx. Flickr
“There should be something revelatory about art.
It should be totally creative and open doors
for new thoughts and experiences.”Tracey Emin
The artist Tracey Emin has frequently included several swear words in her works; she challenges society’s expectations and allows herself to express intense and extreme feelings though her work. She smashes through accepted taboos in what has been regarded as an outrageous manner, using words that many have deemed offensive.
“When it comes to words I have a uniqueness that I find almost impossible in art – and it’s my words that actually make my art quite unique.”
Tracey Emin
Profanity. Tomia, original image en:User: Polylerus. Wikimedia Commons
“We should keep at it. Swearing is a powerful instrument, socially and emotionally. If women and men want to communicate as equals, we need to be equals in the ways in which we are allowed to express ourselves. Sod social censure. Let us allow men to cry and women to swear: we need both means of expression.”
Emma Byrne, Swearing Is Good For You: The Amazing Science of Bad Language
“He was kindhearted, in a way. You know the sort of kind heart: it made him uncomfortable more often than it made him do anything; and even when he did anything, it did not prevent him from grumbling, losing his temper and swearing (mostly to himself).”
J. R. R. Tolkien
People also swear under their breath to themselves; this avoids others hearing them and keeps the frustration silent. It can be effective, a way of quietly defusing the tension.
- In conclusion: there is a time and a place for everything…
It really is all about context. In an inappropriate, downright risky context, swearing can get us into a whole lot of trouble. It can be regarded as immature, crass and offensive. Expletives may be seen as objectionable in certain settings, cultures and societies, and regarded as extremely blasphemous, coarse, indiscreet, and upsetting.
In the right context, however, swearing can, as we have heard, distract from pain, help forge some social bonds, and assist in venting strong emotions. It may be that, in some circumstances, it helps alleviate any tendency towards physical violence.
“There ought to be a room in every house to swear in. It’s dangerous to have to repress an emotion like that.”
Mark Twain
The therapeutic value of swearing in the appropriate setting is illustrated by a recent report on women’s experiences during a grief retreat:
“We perform rituals, build a shrine and light candles of the loves we have lost. Then we head out to collect stones that represent the grief felt by each of us. We carry those rocks by moonlight…to a waterfall in the pine forest. Deafened by the water we stand together behind the falls and throw them into the rushing water. “F*** you,” Charity shouts. “F*** you,” we all shout, laughing about what people must make of this mad group of grieving women.”
Katie Glass. Sunday Times.30.3.25
© Linda Berman
waysofthinking.co.uk 