Open Doorway, Morocco. John Singer Sargent. Between 1889 & 1890. Wikimedia Commons.
The etymology of the word ‘threshold’ is an interesting one, for it actually meant the piece of stone or wood at the base of a doorway, which we climb over to enter a house. The word thresh describes part of the process of making flour; it means separating the wheat from the husks, and some people think that the threshold was there to prevent the wheat from blowing under the door into the house. It held the ‘thresh.’
Threshing in the Abruzzi (1890) Wikimedia Commons
Whether this is a true meaning or not, the word has subsequently come to refer to the point at which something new is about to occur. It has taken on even greater, symbolic and somewhat spiritual significance as time passed; its meaning has evolved, so that it can refer to any kind of transitional, in-between place in our lives. It now often refers to psychological states…
“It’s as if I’ve crossed an invisible threshold, and now the idea of staying where I was feels impossible, as though my soul has already leapt ahead, leaving the rest of me to catch up.”
Sean DeLaney
These ‘in-between’ areas, when we may pause for a moment to think about where we may be going, can represent important turning points in our lives. Crossing a threshold inevitably means stepping into something new, going through a door into the future.
Of course, most of the time we can choose which doorsteps to cross, and which to avoid. However, we cannot know what is over the threshold until we have ventured beyond it and into a new life, a new time, a new direction.
Traditionally, after a wedding, the groom would carry his bride over the threshold of their new home; this ritual had many meanings. For some, it protected the bride from evil spirits entering her through her feet, as these spirits were thought to linger around thresholds. It was also seen as a way of stopping the new wife from tripping, which was seen as a bad omen in some cultures.
- A time to stop, think, and to face not-knowing
Konstantin Somov (1869–1939) Open Door on a Garden. Wikimedia Commons
Deciding whether to cross a new threshold, whether that represents a way into a possible new relationship, a new job, or a house move, can be difficult. We will weigh up the pros and cons, thinking about how much we really want to make a change, and perhaps we may doubt whether the change would improve our lot.
Thresholds herald change, large or small. They can mean entering something like a different room, a different space, or, more importantly, a different direction in life. Thresholds always symbolise a time of uncertainty and not knowing where we might be going. This can be both frightening and exciting…full of potential.
- Holding the moment…
Staying with the uncertainty of the moment and developing a capacity not to know can be highly creative and freeing. Instead of rushing to make the ‘right’ decision about whether to cross a new threshold or not, what if we were to allow ourselves to linger a while with some degree of uncertainty, wondering, curiosity?
Could the ‘hold’ part of the word now refer to the threshold as prompting us to ‘hold the moment,’ to pause, to contemplate the steps we are about to take?
A Moment’s Pause, by Luis Ricardo Faléro. 1934. Wikimedia Commons
This ‘not-knowing’ is akin to a mental slowing-down, allowing ourselves to take time, and to curb the tendency to jump to conclusions without thinking. It means that we will avoid the distortions that come with quick certainties. Could we take the risk of facing the unknown and give ourselves, and others, some space and time to wait and see ?
If we were able to do this, then we might engage with fresh possibilities, finding new truths before we cross an important new threshold.
Here is an opportunity to value the in-between stages in our lives. The principle of waiting, of slowing down our thinking, of not-knowing, holds true for most creative endeavours… and a threshold is a space that is frequently a prelude to potential and creativity. Quietness, stillness and having space to think, differently and imaginatively, are crucial.
The psychoanalyst D.W. Winnicott asserted that
‘…acceptance of not-knowing produces tremendous relief.’
If we accept not-knowing, then we will feel less pressured in life to rush across whatever threshold we come upon. Pausing at the threshold can mean that we do not rush into important decisions, that we allow ourselves time to ponder and to consider options.
When we have taken time, and allowed ourselves to pause and think, then we might decide to move forward…
- Risk-taking
Ivan Kulikov Writer E.N.Chirikov. 1904. Public Domain.
“The real risks for any artist are taken in pushing the work to the limits of what is possible, in the attempt to increase the sum of what it is possible to think. Books become good when they go to this edge and risk falling over it when they endanger the artist by reason of what he has, or has not, artistically dared.”
Salman Rushdie
“Never have I found the limits of the photographic potential. Every horizon, upon being reached, reveals another beckoning in the distance. Always, I am on the threshold.”
W. Eugene Smith
With our hand on the door handle, we are in a liminal space, a moment of potential, of transition. This applies as much in artistic endeavours as it does to the rest of life. As we contemplate new and creative beginnings, whether that is in art, writing, music, or any other kind of work, it is important to the aware of the possibilities that might lie beyond the threshold, the fresh opportunities to take risks…
Edouard Vuillard – The Artist’s Mother Opening a Door. Wikimedia Commons
“A threshold is not a simple boundary; it is a frontier that divides two different territories, rhythms, and atmospheres.”
John O’Donohue
These can be moments pregnant with so many emotions…fear, opportunity, confusion, indecision hope…
Laura Theresa Alma-Tadema (1852–1909), At the Doorway (1898), oil on panel, 45.7 × 22.5 cm, Private collection. Wikimedia Commons.
In pausing to discover what might arise from such a space, we allow for an evolving kind of self-expression. However, ultimately we will need to make a decision about whether, or when, to cross an important threshold. Otherwise we might linger there, undecided, hesitant, and we may miss significant opportunities. We will need to take a risk at some point.
“Leap out into the air to begin with you’ll find more of a footing there than you thought possible.”
Such a ‘free-fall’ is chancy and ‘not knowing’ feels like a risk; however, it is often a risk worth taking, for the rewards are considerable.
What is a calculated risk and how can it pay off for us? Thinking about whether doing something risky might work or not, is a part of ‘risk assessment.’ We do this in our lives, probably most days, consciously or unconsciously, even in small ways around our home.
Nikolai Astrup (1880–1928), By the Open Door (before 1911).
“You have to take risks. We will only understand the miracle of life fully when we allow the unexpected to happen.”
Paulo Coelho
Without risks, life would be dull and boring. Taking calculated risks, weighing up the pros and cons as we stand on the threshold, making mistakes and learning from them, all are necessary if we are to ‘seize the day.’ Managing uncertainty, not knowing how things will turn out, are not easy, but if we are able to cope with these, we can find that we become increasingly creative and feel more alive.
“Plunge boldly into the thick of life, and seize it where you will, it is always interesting.”Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
If we linger too long on the doorsteps of life, if we do not begin, then we may end up feeling lost, marginalised and confused.
Finding new worlds involves coping with uncertainty and venturing into the unknown, but without taking such risks at some points in our life, without making choices, we would remain static.
“I’m afraid of committing myself,” she thought to herself. She wanted to follow all possible paths and so ended up following none.”
Paulo Coelho
Stepping over the threshold in life takes courage; it is, inevitably, a risk. However, we will never know which direction in life is the ‘right’ one for us, unless we try it, and make the brave decision to move over into a new area.
“Consciousness is the awareness that emerges out of the dialectical tension between possibilities and limitations.”
Rollo May, The Courage to Create
Having realistic expectations, of ourselves and others, assessing risks, and not aiming too high, will mean that we will be able to function better in life. We will then also be able to focus on the possibilities, the opportunities and chances that are open to us across the threshold.
The quotation above refers to the fact that life is about balancing opposites, managing the inconsistencies and changes that constantly make our lives interesting and colourful…. and, at times, difficult. The ‘dialectical tension between possibilities and limitations’ is a phrase that perfectly sums up the dilemma in all our lives. Whatever thresholds we choose to cross, there will be losses and there will be gains.
- Thresholds, transitions, and therapy…
It is highly relevant to consider here the way in which therapy can help us to cross important thresholds in life, to embark upon a ‘journey’ into ourselves and our past. This is a journey to discover our true selves, to find out who we really are beneath all the defences, memories, thoughts and feelings that have emerged out of our life experiences. We will be crossing the threshold in therapy between the outside world and our own inner landscape.
As we physically cross the threshold of the therapy room from the busy world outside, we have already made a choice. We have moved into a focussed and undisturbed space that can enable us to ‘travel’ into ourselves.
Being faced with any kind of threshold can be difficult and uncertain; therapy can provide that threshold, that safe, containing space. A good, safe therapy experience, both physically and psychologically, amply illustrates the theory of ‘holding.’ The concept of ‘holding’ was introduced by the child psychoanalyst Winnicott in the 1950’s, in terms of the importance of the infant’s experience with the mother. This kind of support is needed in therapy, too, and the therapist’s strong presence is crucial in this.
As the client tries to navigate thresholds in their life, they may need the therapist to wait and linger with them on the doorstep of the future, to accompany them as they wait, as they ponder and consider new beginnings, new decisions.
Therapy can help the client feel curious, hopeful, and aware as they contemplate changes such as divorce, parenthood, loss, estrangement, partnership, and as they arrive at the threshold of many other transformative life events.
The therapy experience itself can represent an in-between place, a space between our inner and outer worlds, a psychological threshold straddling past and present. It can be somewhere to rehearse life, to work with the therapist in order to try new ways of being and new ways of thinking.
Yalom saw therapy very much as a journey of discovery:
“Therapy is a journey into the unknown, but one that can lead to self-discovery and personal growth.”
Yalom
Whilst the journey into our self, into our unconscious mind, may not be straight or linear, it is one of the most important journeys we may ever make…
“The only journey is the one within.”
Rainer Maria Rilke
It is, inevitably, a painful process, travelling into the landscape of our unconscious self, below the threshold of our consciousness. As we travel inwards, with the help of an empathic and supportive therapist, we may find this process can produce great rewards.
“If you want to choose the pleasure of growth, prepare yourself for some pain.”
Without the promise of the rewards of enlightenment, clarity, peace of mind and insight, we would not traverse the threshold towards the bumpy roads of self-knowledge. Each journey is different, as we are all unique individuals.
“Transformation is a process, and as life happens there are tons of ups and downs. It’s a journey of discovery – there are moments on mountaintops and moments in deep valleys of despair.”
Rick Warren
The Truth Unveiled. 1913 – Egon Schiele. Wikioo.
“The turning point is that moment of naked acceptance of the truth.”
Ellyn Stern
There can be many transformational points in the therapy process, from beginning to end; for example, the establishment of the therapeutic alliance, to help the client feel trusting and safe, can be a defining moment that means that the work of therapy will really begin, that the client has really stepped over the initial therapy threshold.
Shifts can gradually occur during the therapy process in the client’s awareness of self and other, in their thoughts, behaviour and feelings. These may be achieved through interpretation and the therapist showing the client a different perspective, a new way of seeing.
Not all thresholds, in life or in therapy, will be massive and transformative; some can be smaller and less noticeable. Nevertheless they can still contribute to an accumulated collection of new truths that may, indeed, result in life-change.
“Leaving the old, both worlds at once they view,
That stand upon the threshold of the new.”
Edmund Waller
© Linda Berman