• Can we always live in a world of reality? Or do we sometimes need to escape into illusion and fantasy?

Untitled. Celestial Fantasy with Tamara Toumanova. 1940. Joseph Cornell. Wikioo.

“We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task in life is to find reality
But given the state of the world, is it wise?”

Iris Murdoch

The great novelist, Iris Murdoch, poses a question that many of us are still asking today; should we allow ourselves to be exposed to reality when it can be so painful?

Many people find it hard to watch, or listen to, the news; they do not want to witness others’ pain and desperation, and are afraid to be too aware of ‘the state of the world.’

Even though disasters and violence on-screen are once-removed from us, it can still feel that we are being exposed to and disturbed by too much reality. This can be stressful, depressing and worrying for some people.

Sometimes, when something amazing, or very dreadful, surprising, or awe-inspiring occurs, we say “You couldn’t make it up.” It may be so shocking or enthralling that it is totally impossible to predict or envisage…it is beyond imagination. Reality can be more remarkable than fantasy.

“It’s no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.”

 

Mark Twain

Franciszek Siedlecki – Fantasy – Imagination. 1913. Wikimedia Commons

“Few people have the imagination for reality”

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

This quotation is stating that reality is so complex, elaborate and hard to comprehend, that there are not many people who could even begin to imagine it.

This is relevant to therapy, too. It takes courage to allow ourselves to venture into the deeper reaches of our unconscious and face the realities of ourselves.

We need to have the insight, consciousness, awareness and the imagination to accept and conceive of the reality of our inner, and outer, world. This is far from easy to achieve.

“Every man takes the limits of his own field of vision for the limits of the world.”

Arthur Schopenhauer

Most people do not open their eyes to the nature of reality, having a closed attitude and set beliefs and ideas. This precludes them from seeing reality, both good and bad.

Reality itself is fantastical; it is full of uncertainty and impermanence. We cannot predict it, and none of us could possibly completely imagine it, in all its intricacies and twists and turns.

• The wonders and horrors of reality

So much occurs in life that is incredible, unimaginable, beyond belief. Some of these are earth’s wonders. However, at the other end of the scale, man’s inhumanity to man knows no bounds.

Edvard Munch – Murder on the Road. 1919. Wikimedia Commons

Sometimes reality is so terrible that some people ‘cannot’ (do not want to) believe it, as if not believing magically means it did not happen. This, of course, is another blow for the survivors of appalling and shocking abuse.

I remember the response of therapist Valerie Sinason during a radio interview many years ago, when asked what she thought of those people who do not believe that ritual Satanic abuse exists. ‘I think they are very lucky,’ she responded. 

The reality of the horrors that happened in the Holocaust cannot be captured in pictures or words; the unspeakable inhumanity renders any kind of portrayal impossible. An extract from a poem by Michael Hamburger (Collected Poems, 1941-44) succeeds in expressing something of the indescribability of such a spectacle:

“I cannot even describe them, caught no more,

Than a flash of light that ripped open

The walls of our half-lit room;

Or the negative-a black wedge

Rammed into light so white

That it hurt to look.

Leave this page blank.

You’d neither like nor believe

The picture no lens could have taken.”

___________________

At the other extreme, reality can be overflowing with wonders and unexpected amazement. Life is full of change and surprises and there is so much in this world to astound us. The reality of nature, of our own bodies, of the universe, can be breathtaking and awe-inspiring.

“One cannot help but be in awe when
one contemplates the mysteries of eternity,
of life, of the marvelous structure of reality.”

Albert Einstein

• Necessary escapes?

“The hell with reality! Let’s have a whole bunch of cute little winding roads and cute little houses painted white and pink and baby blue; let’s all be good consumers and have a lot of Togetherness and bring our children up in a bath of sentimentality — and if old reality ever does pop out and say ‘Boo’ we’ll all get busy and pretend it never happened.”

Richard Yates

Sometimes, as Yates says, we need to escape the reality of our lives and the world around us and flee into art, film, novel, music …. whatever floats our boat in our personal fantasy world.

We all need to relax, take time out, have a holiday, immerse ourselves in wonder, discovery and illusion. If we always keep painful issues at the forefront of our minds, without distraction, we may be too disturbed to manage our daily life.

At times, we may need to try to put these on the back-burner. Having a good imagination helps!

Daydreaming is something else we all do; sometimes we might feel almost cut off from the outside world. If this happens for more than short periods, it can become dissociation, which is a kind of mental disconnection from the external world as a reaction to feeling intensely overwhelmed and traumatised.

The dissociated person will display a kind of absence from the real world. This is very different from daydreaming and is often part of a coping mechanism in response to traumatic stress, linked to PTSD. If it persists, professional help might be needed.

Our inner landscape has no limits, and, whilst, as I have said, it should not be seen as an alternative to reality, it can enhance and improve a difficult situation, such as the Covid lockdown, making it a little more bearable.

“Imagination is the only weapon in the war against reality.”

Lewis Carroll

“Reality can be beaten with enough imagination.”
Mark Twain

Losing ourselves in art is another kind of ‘escape.’

“We have art in order not to die of the truth.”

Friedrich Nietzsche

The great philosopher is highlighting a profound reality; we all need some kind of art in our lives. If not art, we will surely find some other form of distraction that appeals to us.

Whether that is in the form of watching film or television, theatre, exercise, sport, getting lost in a gallery, painting, listening to or playing music, reading, writing… we need to immerse ourselves  in something that absorbs our attention, in order to re-find our ability to face the difficulties, the unpalatable ‘truths’ of life.

William Blamire Young. A Refuge from Reality. circa 1925.Wikimedia Commons.

Wassily Kandinsky – Murnau, Houses in the Obermarkt [1908]. Wikimedia Commons

“The work of art is an imaginary island surrounded by reality.”

José Ortega y Gasset

Such cultural experiences, and many others, are valuable in themselves, but they also serve as a diversion, a necessary one, when life is stressful.

They can be a great comfort to us, and a way of grounding ourselves; it is not about hiding away from reality, or denying it, but finding some precious relief in intellectual pursuits, beauty or fantasy.

“What people lack in life is not more reality but illusion, fantasy, play.”

Robert Greene

Death and Life – 1916. Gustav Klimt. Wikioo

“Absolute power, as we have always known, corrupts absolutely; it corrupts because it does not do the trick for the individual. Reality always creeps in – the reality of our helplessness and our mortality; the reality that, despite our reach for the stars, a creaturely fate awaits us.”

Irvin D. Yalom

No matter how many art galleries, concerts, theatrical dramas or marathons we choose to lose ourselves in, no matter how much power, fame or prestige we have gained in life, we will all, inevitably, have to face the stark truths of our human condition.

We cannot, as Yalom wisely says, avoid the facts of existential reality; we all know at some level that we will meet ‘a creaturely fate,’ no matter how many stars we have reached for.

Knowing this, and adjusting to the reality of our mortality, will mean that we may enjoy life all the more, valuing every day of our limited life-span. If we are able to work through some of our fears of death, we will not only set a good model for our children, and for others, but also we will discover more about the world around us and the wonders it has to offer.

• Becoming comfortable with the reality of our self

Relaxing On A Holiday. Li Mei-shu. 1975. Wikimedia Commons.

“Feeling real is more than existing; it is finding a way to exist as oneself… and to have a self into which to retreat for relaxation.”

Donald Woods Winnicott

Winnicott’s words beautifully complement those of Yalom, for, if we do manage to accept our allotted span on earth, we can focus on ourselves and on developing ways of being that help us to relax and to feel comfortable in our own skin.

This is certainly not about being in denial…just the opposite in fact. It involves facing ourselves and who we are, warts and all; accepting our ‘weaknesses’ will mean we can forge a comfortable and peaceful place inside our minds.

If we constantly feel disturbed by our own anger, rage, feelings of vengeance or hatred, guilt or painful thoughts, we will not be able to find that soothing area of sanctuary within ourselves. This is when we might contemplate having therapy, where we can move towards working on self-acceptance and resolving some of the issues that trouble us.

“The real poetry and beauty in life comes from an intense relationship with reality in all its aspects. Realism is in fact the ideal we must aspire to, the highest point of human rationality.”

Robert Greene

If we can accept ourselves, then we can trust that we will have that safe space inside us, a calm, criticism-free oasis, knowing clearly that we are fully human, capable, strong and unique. Within us is a whole world of possibilities. 

“Be faithful to that which exists nowhere but in yourself- and thus make yourself indispensable.”

André Gide

• Virtual reality and hyperrealism

Being able to face reality, however, does not preclude needing sometimes to escape it. Many of us use virtual reality to do so, exploring ‘other’ worlds, of fantasy and of augmented reality. This can also lead us to thinking about the hyperrealistic in art.

I will end this post with some quotations and images on the subjects of virtual reality and hyperrealism for you to peruse and consider yourselves…

• The Paradoxical Illusion of Virtual Reality

10’000 moving cities V3, net-and-telepresence-based installation.2015.Wikimedia Commons.

“As the Internet of things advances, the very notion of a clear dividing line between reality and virtual reality becomes blurred, sometimes in creative ways.”

Geoff Mulgan

La hora del te.MagdaTorresGurza.2015. Oil on canvas. Wikimedia Commons

“Hyperrealism can create an atmosphere of Surrealism because nobody sees the world in such detail.”

Salman Rushdie

Jason de Graaf, 2017. lSuspension of Disbelief, acrylic on canvas. Mathieu Croisetière. Flickr.

“Hyperrealism is the young art form of creating illusions by enhancing reality. Artists of this genre take their works beyond purely photographic quality by placing added focus on visual, social, and cultural details of everyday life. They play with colour intensity, lighting, contrast, and sharpness to shape a more vivid depiction of what we can see with the naked eye.”

Sydney Amoakoh

“Advances in the technology will make this experience more and more immersive by responding to all of our senses — users will be able to feel and smell, not just see and hear the virtual environment.”

Ekke Piirisild

©Linda Berman 

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Linda.