• The mystery within

About the Inside and Landscape No.8. 1990. Ernest Zobole. Wikioo.

We live in two connected worlds, the inner and the outer. Within our minds, we all have an internal landscape, a vast and complex internal world of our creation, both conscious and unconscious, a blend of many aspects, including memories, dreams, beliefs, imaginings, experiences, fears, thoughts and feelings.

The unconscious mind, or parts of it, can be a mystery to us, and, unless we work on this, it can remain a mystery throughout our lives. Without any awareness of the mysteries within, we may be ruled by them and we can be unconsciously led into all sorts of painful situations.

The Endless Enigma – Salvador Dali. 1938. Wikioo

“Each person is an enigma. You’re a puzzle not only to yourself but also to everyone else, and the great mystery of our time is how we penetrate this puzzle.”

Theodore Zeldin

‘Penetrating the puzzle’ of ourselves may involve having some psychotherapy, in order to work towards understanding feelings and behaviour that result from unconscious conflicts.

“Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.”

Carl Jung

What does Jung mean in the above quotation? He is asserting that the only way we can see clearly and wake up to reality is if we look inside at ourselves, into our own psyche, and not only at the world around us.

Freud would describe ‘penetrating the puzzle’ of the self as ‘making the unconscious conscious.’  Unless we know ourselves, we will see others, and the outside world, through a lens clouded by our own imaginings, prejudices, projections and distortions.

In addition, we will be unaware of this bias, if we have not examined ourselves psychologically.  We will remain a mystery to ourselves, which is an uncomfortable place to be.

Nimm dich selbst by der Nase( Take yourself by the nose)(The bird of self-knowledge) Last third of the 17th Century. Artist unknown. Wikimedia Commons.

“I am a mystery to myself.”

Angelina Grimke

Probing the depths of our unconscious in psychotherapy may reveal much about us that has been hidden from our awareness of who we are. Knowing ourselves and working to decipher some of our own, deeply hidden mysteries is highly important.

However, there will always be aspects of ourselves that remain mysterious and unknown.

Looking Within. Kelly Birkenrith 2019. Gandalf’s Gallery. Flickr.

“The greatest mysteries often lie within ourselves.”

From ‘Mystery Man’ by Colin Bateman.

• Can we ever really know another person?

Group Portrait Eden Bar – Max Beckmann.1923.Wikioo

“A wonderful fact to reflect upon, that every human creature is constituted to be that profound secret and mystery to every other.”

Charles Dickens

Obviously, it is impossible to understand totally another’s thoughts, for they are unique to that individual. We cannot achieve absolute knowledge of self and other. We can only attempt to understand another’s ways of thinking and ways of being, for we cannot get inside their heads and see the world exactly as they do.

Telling someone ‘I know exactly how you feel’ is bound to be an inaccurate statement, a massive assumption; we may empathise, having found ourselves in situations that sound similar to the other person’s, but we cannot know just how it has felt for them. Trying to gauge another’s perspective, through assumptions, imagination, or guesswork is most unlikely to be effective.

In spite of the fact that we might never be able to completely experience another’s way of thinking and seeing the world, we may still strive to understand their thoughts in an empathic way.

Only with dialogue and a wish to listen to others can we hope to discover something of what another person feels.

• Uncertainty and the mystery of the future…

The Mystery of Life – George Grey Barnard. Wikioo.

“Until we accept the fact that life itself is founded in mystery, we shall learn nothing.”

Henry Miller

“Man lives in a world of surmise, of mystery, of uncertainties.”

John Dewey

Being faced with the uncertainty of life keeps us in a constant state of facing mystery, the mystery of what may, or may not, happen in the future. This can make us feel powerless and overwhelmed.

Hand with Sphere – Maurits Cornelis Escher. 1935. Wikioo

“We sail within a vast sphere, ever drifting in uncertainty, driven from end to end.”

Blaise Pascal

Life is unpredictable; we cannot know what is round the corner. However, developing a capacity not to know and to stay with feelings of uncertainty can be a highly creative and freeing experience.

 “A warrior accepts that we can never know what will happen to us next.”

Pema Chödrön

In actual fact, although it is hard, acceptance of this situation is a kind of control. Paradoxically, once we let go of a desire to gain control, we often feel more in control. Knowing that life is so impermanent gives us understanding and wisdom, a reassuring sense of being in charge of ourselves, if not of the world outside.

Everything is impermanent, except uncertainty and not-knowing what will happen next. Nothing lasts, not joy, not sorrow. Impermanence is woven intricately into the very fabric of our lives. If things go badly, this will not last. If things are good, that will not last either.

Life is a mysterious journey, and we will travel though many different episodes and experiences, which change all the time. Finding new paths involves coping with uncertainty and venturing into the unknown, but without taking such risks at some points in our life, we would remain static.

• Losing our childhood sense of mystery…

Questioning Children – 1949. Karel Appel. Wikioo

“The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvellous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity.”

Albert Einstein

Children ask questions, loads of them. This is how they learn about and understand the world. Nothing is more heartwarming than to see a look of wonder on the face of a child. The zest for life, the excitement, the energetic, open-mouthed, uninhibited exuberance of a happy and curious child is a joy to witness.

Curiosity – Joseph Kleitsch. 1914., Wikioo.

“Curiosity, in Einstein’s case, came not just from a desire to question the mysterious. More important, it came from a childlike sense of marvel that propelled him to question the familiar, those concepts that, as he once said, ‘the ordinary adult never bothers about.’”

Walter Isaacson. 2007. Einstein: His Life and Universe.

Einstein was very much able, as an adult, to maintain his childhood sense of awe at the mysteries of the world. He continued to see the universe through a child’s eyes, keeping alive feelings of amazement at the world and its miracles, which he saw everywhere.

The first man on the moon agreed with him, (although it was not the final impossibility):

The Final Impossibility: Man’s Tracks on the Moon. 1969. Norman Rockwell. Wikioo.

“Mystery creates wonder and wonder is the basis of man’s desire to understand.”

Neil Armstrong

“We never cease to stand like curious children before the great mystery into which we were born.”

(Einstein speaking to a friend quoted by Walter Isaacson.)

Sadly, as adults, we often lose this childhood sparkle, the magic, the youthful wonder and awe, and we cannot maintain it in our daily lives.

If we do find it difficult to hold onto this capacity to still be fascinated and amazed by the unfathomable, it may be that we need help to regain our appreciation of the mysteries of ourselves and the universe. Such help may be found in different kinds of psychotherapy, or in talking to a trusted friend, life coach or mentor.

Why is it that we may lose this curiosity and awe? Why are people sometimes unenthusiastic, disenchanted, uninterested, indifferent, apathetic? What has happened to their wondering?

During childhood, everything is new and exciting. As we grow, the novelty often wears off. The aspects of life that excited us become less interesting with repeated exposure. Reality creeps in and the daily routine of work faces us.

We may also be so preoccupied that we fail to notice the flowers of summer spreading and burgeoning in the sunshine and the many other mysteries of nature. Can we find a moment to ‘stop and smell the roses?’

Roses (also known as The Scent of Roses)’ – Lilla Cabot Perry. 1848–1933. Wikioo

“The center of all flowers must contain the mystery, the source of their blooming, the secret behind their fragrance and the perfection of their beauty. And of course, if we were to tear the rose apart to discover the secret, we would destroy it. Somehow it is the very form the mystery takes that is part of its perfection. The mystery unfolds on its own, in its own time and in its own way. Just as we do. Just as life does.”

Pamela Hale, Huffington Post. 2/4/17.

The scent of fresh garden roses is more beautiful and exquisite than any expensive designer perfume could ever be! They contain mystery and secrets… we can never truly, accurately recreate their appeal in any kind of creative endeavour. We can never replicate the impact of touching their soft petals, whilst we simultaneously inhale the stunning fragrance emanating from their centre.

Roses themselves have fascinated and captured the imagination of poets, writers and artists through time immemorial. Their secrets and their mystery remain.

I will end this post with some thought provoking images and quotations…

A Magical Morning – Thomas Edwin Mostyn. Wikioo

“The world is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.”

Bertrand Russell

The Dull Story – George Caleb Bingham. 1843. Wikioo.

“Without mysteries, life would be very dull indeed. What would be left to strive for if everything were known?”

Charles de Lint

Joseph Mallord William Turner (1775-1851) – Sunset

“The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science.”

Albert Einstein

The Kingdom Of The Future – Frederick Cayley Robinson.1911. Wikioo

“I am entirely on the side of mystery. I mean, any attempt to explain away the mystery is ridiculous. I believe in the profound and unfathomable mystery of life which has a sort of divine quality about it.”

Aldous Huxley

© Linda Berman