What is the meaning of the term personal growth? This is about the process of learning and of gaining an awareness of who we are, and working towards being better, more compassionate and empathic; it is about improving ourselves as people, becoming more fully-rounded.
Change and growth are important if we are to have fulfilling lives, to be a part of meaningful and satisfying relationships, and become our best selves. We can improve ourselves through gaining self-awareness, practising self-care, focussing on being kind, compassionate and empathic to others’ needs as well as our own, through learning about ourselves and the world and surrounding ourselves with people who are empathic to us.
In this post, I have used some images from nature, for your delectation and delight, in order to illustrate and represent our human personal growth.
Quote 1
Vincent van Gogh – Undergrowth. 1889. Wikimedia Commons
“We do not grow absolutely, chronologically. We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another; unevenly. We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another. The past, present, and future mingle and pull us backward, forward, or fix us in the present. We are made up of layers, cells, constellations.”
Anais Nin
This quotation may put us in mind of the theme of last week’s post, about artists who may be geniuses in their work, but also may be seriously, and sometimes criminally, flawed. This echoes what Anais Nin has said, in that our personal growth can be inconsistent and uneven. Parts of us may be well developed, others not so. These words remind us that we are multi-faceted, layered, made up of so many aspects, having many different strands and identities.
Our emotional growth is certainly not linear, and that is the reason that people in psychotherapy often need to revisit issues many times; as people grow and develop, they can become more ready to face issues again that they may only partially have worked through. This can take several attempts, each time with the client developing more strength, more courage, and more insight as they move forward on their own personal psychological journey.
Quote 2
Helma (1940–2025) Kleines Glück. 1999.Photographer: Jan Schüler/ CC BY-SA 4.0 2015.
“There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.”
Ernest Hemingway
These wise words remind us all of the folly of feeling competitive and rivalrous with others in relation to feeling ‘superior’ and better than the other person. This is an arrogant stance, one that is far from conducive to personal growth.
It is important only to compare ourselves in the present with who we were in the past. Have we moved on, become more aware, better people? Are we, indeed, superior to who we once were, or do we put ourselves above others, instead?
Whilst doing this takes a good deal of humility, self awareness and some self control, it is the surest way in which to make very certain that we have truly developed as people.
Quote 3
Paul Klee – Picture of a Garden [1920]
“One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again.”
Abraham Maslow
Maslow is emphasising the fact that personal growth is a constant choice; each day we must choose whether we will face ourselves or hide behind defences and falsities. Doing the latter will likely feel more secure, more familiar, but it will not take us down the path of self-knowledge. We will remain static and stuck, rooted in old, stale ways of thinking and behaving. It can be tempting to remain in our reassuringly comfortable bubble, for this is safe and habitual; but living in a repeating loop of thoughts and habits will teach us nothing new about ourselves and the world.
Growth is far from easy, and moving out of this ‘loop’ can feel scary at times. Considering new ideas, new ways of being and thinking, may feel threatening or strange if we have been cloistered inside our own heads and our old lives, resistant to fresh ideas.
Yet, as Maslow tells us, in order to become healthy, we need to choose growth ‘again and again,’ and conquer our fears of change and of trying new ways of being in the world.
“If there is no struggle, there is no progress.”
Frederick Douglass
Quote 4
The Garden Makers by Walter Ufer, 1923. Wikimedia Commons
“Be not afraid of growing slowly; be afraid only of standing still.”
Chinese Proverb
At times, as we join the ‘struggle’ of life in an attempt to move on, with our self-awareness, with our work, or with a relationship, we might feel there is little movement.
When we are engaged in being creative in any kind of way, it is inevitable that sometimes we will feel that we are not moving on very fast. This wise old Chinese proverb counsels us to have courage, the courage to understand that this is a common experience and not to expect too much of ourselves, and to refrain from applying undue pressure to ourselves when we seem to be moving only very slowly.
We are, after all, only human, not robotic, and as long as we are not completely immobile, then there is hope.
“Growth begins when we begin to accept our own weakness.”
Jean Vanier
We can also learn from nature to have patience and wait; for nature teaches us that when plants appear to be growing slowly, they are far from static and can surprise us when they burst into flower in next day’s sunshine!
This kind of self-acceptance will mean that we will feel encouraged enough, like the flower, to have a day of faster progress tomorrow…
Quote 5
Edvard Munch – Old Man Sitting under a Tree. 1909. Wikimedia Commons
“Intellectual growth should commence at birth and cease only at death.”
Albert Einstein
Throughout life, our attitude to learning is paramount; it is important that we continue learning and absorbing new things from the world, at all ages and stages of life. Only in this way can we continue the process of personal growth, through working every day to develop our intellect and ways of seeing the world.
One’s work may be finished someday, but one’s education never.
We will be more inclined to see the whole picture, to reflect, and to consider many different ways of thinking, rather than having a limited, partial view of the world. This is, most assuredly, a key factor in the journey towards personal growth for every one of us.
“There is no end to education. It is not that you read a book, pass an examination, and finish with education. The whole of life, from the moment you are born to the moment you die, is a process of learning.”
Krishnamurti
© Linda Berman