Guardian Hands – Charles Henry Sims. Wikioo.

What does containment actually mean? The concept of containment refers to an experience of holding another person so that they feel safe and protected. This ‘holding’ does not have to be in the form of a hug; it can be on an emotional level. We can have such an experience as this within the family, with friends, or in therapy.

Here are 5 quotations to explain the concept further:

Quote 1.

Comfort. 1907. Edvard Munch. Wikioo.

When we hold each other, in the darkness, it doesn’t make the darkness go away. The bad things are still out there. The nightmares still walking. When we hold each other we feel not safe, but better. “It’s all right” we whisper, “I’m here, I love you.” and we lie: “I’ll never leave you.” For just a moment or two the darkness doesn’t seem so bad.

Neil Gaiman

Knowing that there is another person with us when we feel afraid can be an enormous comfort. An empathic and loving other can be a quiet and strong presence for us when we are emotionally low or in pain. Physical holding in the depths of darkness by a partner can help us feel contained and loved. Having someone to love, who loves us, can be an experience that makes us feel secure, strong, valued, alive.

“I wish I could show you when you are lonely or in darkness, the astonishing light of your own being.”

 Hafiz

Love can release our potential, freeing up that which may be latent in us, enhancing self-confidence. Love validates us, makes us feel seen, heard, appreciated, contained.

In Gaiman’s quotation above, there is a realisation that this experience may provide but temporary relief; nevertheless it is important to us to feel connected and held. The feeling of being soothed and calmed takes many of us back to our earliest days, of being lulled to sleep as an infant. Such supportive holding was described by the psychoanalyst Winnicott, in terms of the importance of the infant’s experience with the mother.

Quote 2

“All the details of maternal care just before birth and immediately afterwards go towards making up the holding environment. This includes the mother’s primary maternal preoccupation, which enables her to provide the infant with the necessary ego-support. The psychological and physical holding an infant needs throughout his development continues to be important, and the holding environment never loses its importance for everyone.”

Abram

Ways of thinking about ourselves develop from early experience with our primary caregivers. It must be emphasised here that parenting is certainly not gender exclusive.

A significant other who is not containing, who cannot attune to the child’s needs, will not be able to help that child develop a sense of self that is cohesive and sustaining. The way the parent ‘holds’ the child will form and affect the degree to which the child feels safe and secure in themselves and their own identity.

Psychological holding means that the parent will be empathic to the child’s needs, calm, caring and able to nurture on an emotional level. It involves really ‘seeing’ the child for who they are, focussing on them without distraction and not projecting parental needs onto them.

The last sentence of the quotation above is important, in that we all need containment, right into adulthood. As we mature, we tend to find a multiplicity of ways of gaining support and containment through others, and through different aspects in our environment.

Quote 3

“A therapist’s capacity to provide a patient with this analytic holding is discovered through the real (and recognised) survival of that which the patient experiences as the worst in himself or herself. (Winnicott 1971)”

Patrick Casement: On Learning From The Patient

• What does containment mean in therapy ?

The provision of a containing therapeutic atmosphere is very much part of the therapist’s role and an important feature of an effective therapeutic presence, just as a parent might give to their child. This can give the patient strength and an ability to cope with life.

Physically, the therapist can offer containment through reliability, good time-keeping, honesty, consistency, confidentiality, privacy and safety within the bounds of the therapy room. The therapist will also ensure, as far as possible, that there are no interruptions to the sessions, so that the focus will be totally on the patient.

In addition, the therapy room needs to be welcoming, peaceful, warm and secure, with comfortable chairs into which the patient can relax and feel ‘held.’

Highly relevant here, and a part of the ‘holding’ process, is the concept of the therapist ‘lending their ego,‘ that is, allowing the other person in a supportive psychodynamic therapy to ‘borrow’ their containing adult strength and their ways of thinking during painful times in the process.

Emotionally, the therapist contains the patient’s feelings and fears through empathy and a strong sense of boundaried, professional care. There will also be containment in the maintenance of the ‘therapeutic frame,’ which refers to the fixed and largely unchanging aspects of the therapy, both emotionally and physically.

The concept of ‘holding’ was introduced by the child psychoanalyst Winnicott in the 1950’s, in terms of the importance of the infant’s experience with the mother. This kind of support is needed in therapy, too, and the therapist’s strong presence is crucial in this.

As the quotation says, the therapy needs to feel contained enough for the patient to risk showing what they may regard as the worst parts of themselves. Discovering that they can do this, and still have the therapist ‘survive’ and be there for them, remaining compassionate, is a huge part of the work of therapy. The patient will also have learnt that, having faced what they felt was ‘monstrous’ inside themselves, they, too, have survived their worst fears.

Whilst the therapist in psychodynamic psychotherapy usually does not physically hold the patient, there is created an environment in which the patient can be helped to explore feelings of longing and their unmet childhood needs. Many schools of psychotherapy have differing thoughts about boundaries. For example, most psychoanalytical psychotherapists would consider that hugging a client is unprofessional, whereas some others might not.

Whatever the therapeutic approach, it is crucial for all therapists to have clear professional boundaries, in order to work ethically and responsibly. Boundaries in psychotherapy delineate the ‘rules’ that therapists set and maintain, to protect and care for themselves and, most importantly, for the patient. In addition, the patient will have their own boundaries, which must at all times be respected and honoured.

Quote 4

“Sometimes our light goes out, but is blown again into instant flame by an encounter with another human being.” 

Albert Schweitzer

Friends, family, colleagues…. all these people can function as that ‘other’ who is there for us ‘when our light goes out.’ When our own light has dimmed or been extinguished, when we feel low and dull inside, it may be important to meet others who can rekindle that spark of life-energy inside us. 

It is helpful to be with people who have passion and interest, who can ‘relight our fire.’ This, in itself, is a form of containment, a recognition of our own individuality and a confiirmation of our worth and our unique identity. Such creative energy from another person is catching and it tends to boost our mood. 

It is this that makes us feel ‘held,’  offering an affirmation of ourselves and helping us to feel empowered. It goes straight to the core of us, lifting our mood and lighting our light.

Encouragement to re-find our inner spark can free up our imagination and open up new psychic paths. These paths may be blocked, not through lack of ability, but through low self-esteem, or a fear of taking risks in life.

Quote 5

Portrait of Walt Whitman. Thomas Eakins. 1887-8. Wikimedia Commons

“I exist as I am, that is enough,
If no other in the world be aware I sit content,
And if each and all be aware I sit content.
One world is aware, and by the far the largest to me, and that is myself.”

Walt Whitman

(Walt Whitman: Selected Poems 1855-1892, ‘Song of Myself’ pp31, St. Martin’s Press)

This quotation from Whitman’s wonderfully self-assured poem reveals how self-contained he is. There is a sense of individuation, of having found himself. For Whitman, the ‘self ‘ he speaks of includes everyone, for he tells us in other parts of his work that he discovers himself in everybody… he feels connected to, and at one with, the world.

However, he is also stating in this quotation that being just as he is, ‘is enough’ for him. It satisfies him to be aware of himself, even if no-one else in the world has this awareness. He can be alone, a world unto himself, and still feel content.  This kind of self-containment is surely something we might all aim for in life.  

“The greatest thing in the world is to know how to belong to oneself.”

Michel de Montaigne                                                                                                                                                                          

© Linda Berman.