The search for absolute – Rene Magritte. Wikioo.
Do you believe that life is about searching for absolutes… for absolute truth, absolute perfection, absolute love? If you do, I have news for you. You are likely to be disappointed and to end up feeling like an inadequate failure. You will never achieve your own high standards.
Study in black and white 1 – Frantisek Kupka.
“Is life a game of yes or no? I wonder about the absolutes that we try to create for ourselves, our relationship, our life choices. We try to make things black and white when sometimes it is much more grey.”
Savi Sharma
Thinking in a binary way is seeing the world in black and white; there is no colour, and there are no in-between areas or shades of grey. Life is, as the quote says, ‘a game of yes or no,’ an either/or, a this one or that one, a right or a wrong, an angel or a devil. That’s it. Nothing more to be said. Draw a line under it. No questions asked. Take it or leave it. Put up or shut up. My way or the highway.
This is an absolutist and unyielding kind of approach to life, one that will result in a limited and bigoted mindset. The formulaic nature of such ways of thinking leads to an immovability, a manner of asserting one’s views that brooks no contradiction, no alternatives, no other possibilities, no choice.
Such a reductionist attitude means there cannot be any creative mistakes or ‘happy accidents.’
Error on green – Paul Klee. 1939. Wikioo
There will be no new ways of thinking, no learning, and no difference will be made to anyone or anything.
It might at first glance, however, seem the easier option to have only two extremes to think about. Seeing the world in terms of absolute ‘truths,’ like good or bad, success or failure, might seem clear and uncomplicated.
Yet black and white thinking actually complicates life even more…… it leaves us no margin for error, doubt, uncertainty, or second thoughts. This blinkered view of oneself and the world is unrealistic and allows only for perfection and idealism.
“Creativity abides no absolutes.”
Shannon Taylor Hodnett
If we are to be creative, we will need to be flexible, open and willing to try new ways and fresh, innovative approaches. Otherwise we will only churn out the same old, same old…
The world is multi-faceted, quirky, nuanced and intricate in its complexity. That is what makes it, at times, exciting, inspiring, exhilarating. That is what makes life worth living for many people… the off-centre, the unusual and the new.
“I’m for open-mindedness and tolerance. I’m against any form of fanaticism, fundamentalism or zealotry, and this certainty of ‘We have the truth.’ The truth is far too large and complex. Nobody has the truth.”
Philip Pullman
Inevitably, we will filter what we perceive in the world through our own personal lens; our perspective will be affected by our own experiences, biases, mindset and opinions.
Looking Through – Helen Lundeberg. 1964. Wikioo.
“Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.”
Marcus Aurelius , Meditations
Man Reading – Georges Lemmen. 1883. Wikioo
“Usually when we hear or read something new, we just compare it to our own ideas. If it is the same, we accept it and say that it is correct. If it is not, we say it is incorrect. In either case, we learn nothing.”
Thich Nhat Hanh
This last quotation is underlining the fact that some people have rigid views and they block out anything that challenges these views, regarding these as ‘wrong.’ Their own ideas constantly reverberate in their heads, obliterating doubt and swiftly rejecting any challenge to their fixed ways of thinking.
José Clemente Orozco. 1946. The Demagogue
“The belief that one’s own view of reality is the only reality is the most dangerous of all delusions.”
Paul Watzlawick
- Opening up the mind
The Open Door – Peder Vilhelm Ilsted. Wikioo.
“Every now and then a man’s mind is stretched by a new idea or sensation, and never shrinks back to its former dimensions.”
Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr.
Tight, controlled, rigid thinking involves having a small mind; there is no room in it for doubt, uncertainty, or consideration of other options. These are crowded out by a whole collection of biases, prejudices and outdated, set ideas. Change is a no-go area and tasks must always be done as they have been done for years.
However, if there is a wish to change, even just a little, the person with ‘absolute,’ rigid ideas might find they will be happier if they could allow a little openness. Otherwise they will become outdated, their natural abilities to move on stifled and blunted.
This is a kind of slow dying, being left behind by the world, for everything changes; even the ‘certain’ knowledge we have today will inevitably be subject to change.
Time and Eternity – 1889. John Haberle. Wikioo.
“There are no eternal facts, as there are no absolute truths.”
Nietzsche
Winds of Change – Malindy Argyle. 2006. Wikioo
“Historically speaking, just about everything we know to be ‘absolute’ will eventually change due to ‘new findings’.”
Gary Hopkins
What kind of changes could we make if we feel there is an accumulation of inflexibility within us? How could we address this? The ideas below will point us in the ‘right’ direction…that is, the one that is right for ourselves. It may be that psychotherapy could be helpful in this.
Changes may be brought about by:
- Discovering who we are; being able to look at ourself, as honestly as possible, with an accepting and non-judgemental attitude. Moving past seeing the self and others as either all good or all bad.
- Learning how to really listen to others
- Focussing on developing empathy for others and their thoughts and feelings
“Empathy begins with understanding life from another person’s perspective. Nobody has an objective experience of reality. It’s all through our own individual prisms.”
Sterling K. Brown
- Suspending judgement and criticism of those around us and looking instead at our own inabilities and vulnerabilities
“I am very cautious of people who are absolutely right, especially when they are vehemently so.”
Truth – Mikalojus Konstantinas Ciurlionis. 1905. Wikioo
“If absolute truth belongs to anyone in this world, it certainly does not belong to the man or party that claims to possess it.
Albert Camus
- Being open to new ways of thinking, new ideas, new ways of seeing ourselves and the world. Addressing fears of the unfamiliar and the different; facing the reality of change and impermanence.
“A high openness score means you’re open-minded – you see the world for what it is – whereas a low openness score means you’re incredibly closed-minded, and you see the world the way you want to see it, regardless of what is actually going on.”
Adeo Ress
- Developing an attitude of eagerness and openness towards innovation, discovery and creativity
”The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.”
Alan Watts
- Admitting our mistakes, to ourself and others, without self-criticism
- Seeing these mistakes as learning opportunities
- Gaining more self-confidence
“Indeed, compulsive and rigid moralism arises in given persons precisely as the result of a lack of sense of being. Rigid moralism is a compensatory mechanism by which the individual persuades himself to take over the external sanctions because he has no fundamental assurance that his own choices have any sanction of their own.”
Rollo May
- Being able to take criticism of what we do, and see it as a gift, when sincerely and positively expressed.
Sacred Fish – Giorgio De Chirico. 1919. Wikioo
“The moment you say that any idea system is sacred, whether it’s a religious belief system or a secular ideology, the moment you declare a set of ideas to be immune from criticism, satire, derision, or contempt, freedom of thought becomes impossible.”
Salman Rushdie
- Accepting that nothing is certain, nothing is absolutely guaranteed, except change and death; otherwise, there are no absolutes.
- Reviewing the areas in which we have been rigid and unbending
“The noble-minded are principled, but never dogmatic.”
Confucius
- Considering viewpoints that are very different from our own
- Avoiding extreme, biased and one-sided thinking; seeking the middle way, the shades of grey.
Vassily Kandinsky, 1923 – Circles in a Circle. Wikimedia Commons.
“Being absolutely right and being spectacularly wrong feel exactly the same.”
Scott Adams
© Linda Berman
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