How to define a meaningful life? What makes our life worthwhile?

Inevitably, the responses to these deep and thought-provoking questions will differ across the spectrum of people, and there will be many ways of thinking about them. Below is a small selection for you to consider…

 Quote 1

Laura Knight – Marsh Mallows [1914] Gandalf’s Gallery. Flickr

“The transient vacuities of our cultural icons—success, peace, happiness, and distraction—pale before the question of whether or not one experiences this life as meaningful.”

James Hollis

This perceptive quotation underlines the fact that the ambitions we might have in relation to socially accepted achievements are as nothing compared to having a genuinely meaningful life. Such ‘cultural icons’ as success and happiness become empty, short-term and superficial when we allow ourselves to contemplate what is truly meaningful to us. Even though we may feel that we fit the image of what society deems as successful, we might still not experience contentedness or comfort with ourselves inside.

What could the true meaningful aspects of life entail? They are not always about happy times, for sometimes meaning is found through facing difficulties and problems. We might find genuine meaning in relation to ourselves through facing painful realities and personal issues that have long troubled us, preventing us from feeling at ease with ourselves and the world.

Unresolved conflicts from the past can cloud our existence in the present; rather than constantly distracting ourselves from them, uncovering these issues and working them though, perhaps in therapy, may help us find meaning and genuine peace of mind.

Through the ages, people have turned for help to religion, spirituality and philosophy, art and music, family and community, to personal psychotherapy and many other sources of inspiration and information. This is  part of their quest to expand learning about themselves and the world and to discover some meaning in their life.

Quote 2

Human Misery, from the Volpini Suite- Dessins Lithographiques. 1889. Wikimedia Commons

“The secret is not to find the meaning of life, but to use your life to make things that are meaningful.”

James Clear

All of us human beings, whatever our gender, race or creed, need meaning in our lives. We want to feel that there is a point to us being here, that we have some personal, individual significance and value.

If we have a reason, a purpose to our existence, then this becomes more bearable in difficult times. A life devoid of meaning can feel intolerable, empty and shallow, as if we are wandering aimlessly and endlessly over the earth, without direction.

However, as the above quotation emphasises, searching for meaning outside oneself is a waste of time and effort. It is not fruitful, for true personal meaning is created by each person, of themselves and for themselves. James Clear talks of ‘using your life’ to create meaningful things, implying that this needs to be one of our main purposes for living. He calls this a ‘secret,’ as if he is telling us something very precious and important, which, indeed, he is.

Meaning changes as we change, and as times change. At different periods in our lives we will need to discover and create different meanings for ourselves, meanings that are relevant to new circumstances and new life-stages.

Do you have a personal ‘why’ to live, an overarching purpose in your life that helps you to cope with pain and suffering? Those amongst us who do will find that they can manage better the vicissitudes of life, being supported by a kind of inner light, giving them resilience and a determination from within to achieve their personal aim, whatever that might be.

Furthermore, the personal journey towards finding meaning gives us a valuable task in life, preventing us from becoming apathetic or bored…

Gaston La Touche. L’Ennui 1893. Wikimedia Commons

“With nothing meaningful in life, nothing is interesting. Enter boredom. A bored man even longs for longing. He has time to fill, but there is nothing compelling to do.”

 Daniel Klein, Travels with Epicurus: A Journey to a Greek Island in Search of a Fulfilled Life

Quote 3

Jerry Weiss, Friends, 2003. Wikimedia Commons

“And in life, the meaning comes in living, as wholly as we can, as abundantly as we can, as bravely as we can, here and now, sharing the experience with others, caring for others as we care for ourselves, and accepting our responsibility for leaving the world better than we found it.”

James Hemming, Individual Morality

Caring for other people, and reaching beyond ourselves, will make our life feel worthwhile, meaningful,  fulfilling and energising. Hemming’s words emphasise the need for us to devote ourselves in a dedicated way to other people, participating as fully as we can and giving as much of ourselves as we are able.

He also underlines the importance of not letting fear or lack of courage prevent us from really engaging with the world outside of ourselves, in order to make it a better place. This is a very important point; if we go though life constantly being self-protective and wary, we will not take risks, and will stay within the narrow defines of our comfort-zone. Whist this might feel safe and cocooned at times, in reality it means that we will merely be onlookers in life, rather than participating in a rich and meaningful way.

Moving out of this restricted way of being may, indeed, take guts and determination and the ability to face our fears and anxieties. However, it is crucial to do this if we wish to engage with the world in a meaningful way, rather than remain trembling on the edge of things…

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”

Nelson Mandela

Ernani Costantini 1987. Comings and Goings on the Landing-stage. Wikimedia Commons

“One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again.”

Abraham Maslow

Many wise philosophers and sages through the years have made the point that we do all have a duty to give something back to others, and to the world, to become a part of something much bigger and more meaningful. Engaging with, and helping others, through bringing some light to their darkness, will inevitably give meaning and purpose to our own lives, as we begin to turn outwards rather than constantly focussing on ourselves.

Godfried Schalcken – Young Girl with a Candle.1670-75. Wikimedia Commons

“Learn to light a candle in the darkest moments of someone’s life. Be the light that helps others see; it is what gives life its deepest significance.”

Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

When we have that spark of life-energy inside us, we can emit light to others, and inspire them. We really can ‘spread the light.’

“It is essential that you become aware of the light, power, and strength within each of you, and that you learn to use those inner resources in service of your own and others’ growth.”

 Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

 

Image: Pexels.

“When humans deliberately ‘live’ with a meaningful purpose that lets them evolve, and they assist others in their path, then they are living their greatest life and maximizing their human potential. What makes a person dynamically alive is their life’s purpose aligned to their highest, best self-potential.”

 Master Del Pe, Higher Science of Longevity

© Linda Berman