# This post may be emotionally triggering for some people.

Quote 1

Degas. ‘Intérieur.’ or ‘The Rape.’ Wikimedia Commons. Between 1868 and 1869

“Psychological trauma is an affliction of the powerless. At the moment of trauma, the victim is rendered helpless by overwhelming force. When the force is that of nature, we speak of disasters. When the force is that of other human beings, we speak of atrocities. Traumatic events overwhelm the ordinary systems of care that give people a sense of control, connection, and meaning.… Traumatic events are extraordinary, not because they occur rarely, but rather because they overwhelm the ordinary human adaptations to life.… They confront human beings with the extremities of helplessness and terror, and evoke the responses of catastrophe.”

Judith Lewis Herman, Trauma and Recovery

This respected therapist and specialist in the treatment of trauma underlines the powerlessness of the victim of extreme abuse, describing how all-encompassing this is, how destructive of a person’s sense of who they are, their identity, their usual coping mechanisms, and their ability to have ‘control, connection and meaning’ in their lives.

In such traumatic situations, the victim is, indeed, powerless and helpless to defend or save themselves. As in a powerful natural disaster, such as an earthquake or a tsunami, the person experiencing such terror is rendered utterly unable to save themselves or to escape the trauma. This is how psychological and physical trauma, such as child abuse, rape, or other terrifying experiences can impact on the vicim, robbing them of their ability to have any kind of control over the situation. The powerlessness thus experienced will, inevitably, reach the very core of the person, and the fear it engenders is total, overwhelming and far-reaching.

For those who treat such trauma, it is vital that there is an understanding of the enormity of the damage caused to the survivor by such abuse and the subtle, as well as the more obvious, ways in which it can impact upon them.

For therapists, there needs to be an acute awareness, for example, of how the situation of powerlessness for the client can unconsciously be replicated in therapy. Clients can feel overwhelmed by the authority they might perceive or project in relation to the role of therapist; for example, they may be seen as knowing what is ‘best’ for them, as having all the power, rather than as a facilitator who can help them rediscover their own locus of control after the trauma they have experienced. The therapist needs to be acutely aware of how the client may be viewing them in the transference, bearing in mind the overwhelming nature of the dynamics of their previous damaging experiences.

A therapist who offers choice, explanations of the process of therapy, who is aware of the subtle indicators of feeling overwhelmed or abused in the individual client, and who works sensitively and gently on the dynamics of the client/therapist relationship, will be more able to assist in the process of recovery of a sense of personal power and agency in the client.

Quote 2

Lisa Kmmel. Jawlensky. 1930. Wikimedia Commons

“Trauma victims commonly blame themselves. Blaming oneself for the shame of being a victim is recognized by trauma specialists as a defense against the extreme powerlessness we feel in the wake of a traumatic event. Self-blame continues the illusion of control shock destroys, but prevents us from the necessary working through of the traumatic feelings and memories to heal and recover.”

Sandra Lee Dennis

It is, indeed, a very common experience to witness how much self-blame trauma survivors undergo; somehow there is an erroneous and defensive assumption that, if they are to blame, then they did have some agency or control in the situation. Of course, this is certainly not the case, but, as the writer points out, it is a frequently used defensively in the aftermath of trauma.

In addition, the perpetrator often tells their victim that the fault is theirs, convincing them that they themselves have been responsible for what has occurred. This is another abuse, adding guilt and self-blame to the already powerful and damaging load of painful emotions engendered by the trauma.

Here is another powerful quotation to emphasise the same point:

“When we are ready to let go of our old controls, we admit that we were powerless over the incest or abuse…We have often thought, ‘If only I could have stopped it,’ but we could not have stopped it. We let go of the ‘if only’ now and sit still with our stark powerlessness…In our surrender to powerlessness, we touch ourselves with the gift of truth.”

Maureen Brady

An important point is made here. It is that, before one can begin to regain a sense of power after abusive experiences, there must be a recognition and an acceptance of the powerlessness that has been felt, a ‘surrender’ to it. This might feel contradictory, yet, in reality, unless we accept how powerless we have been, we cannot put the responsibility for the abuse back with the perpetrator, where it belongs. In doing this, we will also be exonerating ourselves of all responsibility for the abuse we have suffered, and thus we will free ourselves with ‘the gift of truth.’

Quote 3

Fernand Khnopff – I lock my door upon myself. 1891. Wikimedia Commons

“I am living in hell from one day to the next. But there is nothing I can do to escape. I don’t know where I would go if I did. I feel utterly powerless, and that feeling is my prison. I entered of my own free will, I locked the door, and I threw away the key.

Haruki Murakami

The survivor of trauma certainly cannot be blamed or seen as in any way responsible for the abuse they suffered; however, it is a painful fact that, having been badly treated, perhaps in childhood, it is sometimes the case that a person maintains the ‘hell’ of an abusive life themselves. They can keep themselves suffering and trapped in powerlessness and destructive ways of thinking which have likely begun in disastrously abusive past experiences.

Sometimes these feelings are termed ‘learned helplessness,’ a state of mind arising from destructive experiences that negatively ‘teach’ the kind of thinking that keeps us powerless and feeling trapped. Again, self-blame can become trapping and restricting and can keep us from moving forwards, or from escaping what might feel like an emotional ‘prison.’

The protagonist in the extract above almost rebukes themselves for maintaining the locked-up situation, blaming only themselves for this dilemma. This attitude certainly does not give them  the ‘gift of truth,’ mentioned in the previous quotation, for they are under the illusion that only they are responsible.

Whilst a person may be unconsciously maintaining these feelings in relation to how these experiences are being processed, it is obvious that life has not always been easy, that they have not been given the wherewithals to help them feel more power and to experience a sense of agency in life.

In order to effect some kind of ‘escape,’ those trapped in such an internal prison may need therapeutic help to recognise the power they now have to unlock the door of their inner prison. They will hopefully come to understand that this sense of being imprisoned is, in the present reality, something internal to them. This may take a considerable time, until the survivor begins to feel safe enough to start to feel some agency and power after years of powerlessness.

Quote 4

Vincent van Gogh – First Steps, after Millet. 1890. Wikimedia Commons

“Then I discover when you take a step forward, even a small step, the fear doesn’t exercise such a tight grip. It’s still there but it’s somehow reduced and you allow yourself to feel less of a helpless victim because ultimately it’s the sense of powerlessness that does you in.”

David Park

Powerlessness can cause us intense anxiety, fear, and feelings of vulnerability and isolation. Having faced such feelings, as the quotation points out, even if we manage to make just a small move, we can gain the confidence to continue. Whist the fear does persist, each step decreases our sense of powerlessness, each small action increases our confidence just a little.

The ancient Chinese philosopher Confucius emphasised this point:

At Work by the Greenhouse. Edvard Munch .1924.

“The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.”

 Confucius

Even the smallest step can mean that the grip of powerlessness is reduced, and we can move forward into self-discovery and fresh ways of thinking, no longer static and immobilised by fear…

“…when we feel powerless, we stop trying to find a better way.”

Walter Dean Myers

“Apathy and lack of feeling are also defenses against anxiety. When a person continually faces danger he is powerless to overcome, his final line of defense is at last to avoid even feeling the dangers.”

Rollo May, Love and Will.

Quote 5

Norman Rockwell: Freedom of Speech. Wikimedia Commons. Between 1941 & 1945.

“A voice is a human gift; it should be cherished and used, to utter fully human speech as possible. Powerlessness and silence go together.”

Margaret Atwood

In Quote 2 there is mention of truth as one kind of ‘human gift.’ Now, the words above underline the importance of speaking up and speaking out where appropriate; Atwood reminds us of the special ‘human gift’ that is the voice, which needs to be protected and utilised at its fullest. Giving voice to one’s thoughts and views is central to human self-expression, freedom, and sense of agency and identity. The implication is that we have a responsibility, perhaps a duty, to speak out in a thoughtful and considered way.

When we witness racism, ageism, and sexism, torture and persecution, homophobia and transphobia, or sexual, physical and mental abuse, it is crucial to somehow use this ‘human gift’ appropriately in order to help people feel heard, and not to be marginalised and disregarded, rendered powerless.

Such horrors continue to thrive when those who experience them are unsupported, disbelieved, or ignored. Voices have been unheard, heartfelt stories of pain denied, muted, or drowned out in a cacophony of hatred and prejudice. 

Abuse may continue unabated when its victims are terrified into silence, often under threats of violence or death.

“When we share those stories we’ve been scared to share, voicelessness loses its wicked grasp.”

Jo Ann Fore

Therapy, in a group or individually, can help those who have, understandably, been rendered voiceless by such terrors.

However, speaking out after trauma can be very difficult, and those who do achieve this need the care, understanding and the help of those who are trauma-informed. Otherwise, the many ways of managing and coping with such deep physical and psychological pain can be misinterpreted, resulting in retraumatisation.

“Justice is conscience, not a personal conscience but the conscience of the whole of humanity. Those who clearly recognize the voice of their own conscience usually recognize also the voice of justice.”

Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

“I write for those women who do not speak, for those who do not have a voice because they were so terrified, because we are taught to respect fear more than ourselves. We’ve been taught that silence would save us, but it won’t.”

Audre Lorde

Telling our own story, speaking out about ourselves and our beliefs is vital, especially if we have experienced trauma. As the quote below explains, this may not only help you, it may also help others around you, who will hear your story and feel inspired and hopeful that they, too, can release their own ‘song.’ Keeping your song inside, unheard by anyone, is a painful experience, rendering a person powerless to express their thoughts and emotions.

“There is a wild woman under our skin who wants nothing more than to dance until her feet are sore, sing her beautiful grief into the rafters, and offer the bottomless cup of her creativity as a way of life. And if you are able to sing from the very wound that you’ve worked so hard to hide, not only will it give meaning to your own story, but it becomes a corroborative voice for others with a similar wounding.”

Toko-pa Turner, Belonging: Remembering Ourselves home

Silence – Henry Fuseli (Johann Heinrich Füssli)1799. Wikioo.

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”

Maya Angelou

“You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”

Marcus Aurelius

© Linda Berman