Matisse. My Room at the Beau Rivage. 1917-18.

“We can’t be brave in the big world without at least one small safe space to work through our fears and falls.”

Brené Brown

We all need our own special space; it can be anywhere we choose, inside or outside of ourselves. Perhaps it is an outer location in the countryside, a room in our house, or maybe the corner of a beautiful garden.

It could be, on the other hand, that our safe, hidden place is inside us, a part of our own psyche, an internal visualisation of an external site, like a beach or a stream; maybe it will represent a time, an experience, one that feels good and health-giving, something that is uniquely ours.

The quotations below encourage us to create that special space for ourselves, a place to just be, perhaps to contemplate and reflect, somewhere where we can retreat whenever we need to do so, pausing there to gain strength, comfort and peace. 

Quote 1

Deepened Impulse – Wassily Kandinsky. 1928. Wikimedia Commons.

“Within yourself is a stillness, a sanctuary to which you can retreat at any time and be yourself.”

Hermann Hesse

What is the power of having a place of inner stillness? Being still can bring us calm, peace, and it can have a de-stressing effect on us. The above quotation reminds us that a still, quiet retreat can be created inside of us, no matter how noisy is the outside world. In making ourselves still, paying attention, remaining focussed and centred, we can begin to search for inner peace.

In this frenetic and troubled world, we need sometimes to retreat to a place of stillness and to make space to face uncertainties. It is important to decelerate our thinking, allowing for reflection and the stillness of a meditative journey into the deeper reaches of ourselves.

Having the ability to just ‘be’ in the midst of busy-ness and activity can be essential to our health and wellbeing. Achieving such stillness can mean that we are enabled to spread our peace, calm and the wisdom we gain from this, to others.

“Mindset is everything. Like the eye of a storm -find the sunshine and calm within you, even if there is chaos outside of you.”

Brittany Burgunder

The world may be full of movement and chaos, but we can create a calm ‘sanctuary’ inside. Being in a rush all the time is reflective of our contemporary culture. Perhaps we have lost some of the ability to spend time looking deeply into life, rather than quickly surfing the internet.

“When one is still and listens, one begins to be in touch with a mysterious element that is within each of us, which can transform and shape us and can help to transform the world.”

William Segal

Félix Vallotton – Woman and Guitar [1913] Gandalf’s Gallery, Flickr.

“Peace is always right here. You just have to create space for it.”

Carol Tuttle

Quote 2

Woman Writing by August Macke. 1910. Wikimedia Commons

 “A woman must have money and a room of her own if she is to write fiction.”

Virginia Woolf

This must have been quite a revolutionary statement or a woman to make in 1910; today, however, it is less unusual for both women and men to have a room of their own and some earnings with which to fund their own creativity.

The space thus made in such a room provides a place to be, to pause, and to have an opportunity to open the mind, allowing confusion and doubts to simply be, free of conceptual constraints. It also enables thought and reflection in a creative way. Solitude and having a space to think, differently and imaginatively, are crucial to achieving some intellectual and creative freedom. The privacy of a safe and quiet, protected space encourages concentration and application, free from interruption. 

Quote 3

Hans Andersen Brendekilde – Forårsgravning- Digging the Garden in Springtime – 1897. Wikimedia Commons

 “Our house is our corner of the world.”

Gaston Bachelard

A house and a home are often seen as a safe space to return to time and time again. As the quotation reminds us, the home can be a holographic representation of the whole of the universe; it is a basic space where we can feel and experience the world in which we live. We initially begin to understand the world into which we have been born from the safety and comfort of our first home. This space becomes a powerful container for our hopes and dreams, a refuge and a place of retreat.

Sometimes, the house can come to represent parts of our self; it is often found in art, in literature and in dreams, as a place within ourselves to seek and discover our identity as we journey through life. We may imagine we are searching for a real, bricks and mortar house, when in reality we are principally hoping to discover a ‘home’ within our own psyche, somewhere we can feel whole and complete.

In this case, home means so much more than a place, a building, bricks and mortar. This home is related, not to physical space, but to psychic space….

“… home, the real home we are seeking is something within ourselves and our own being.  Symbolically, it is the center of the mandala.  Home is connection with the centre of our own being; it is to be accepting of and at home with the deepest part of the self.  But to find that, we must undertake an inner journey.”

Collinson.

Oskar Zwintscher – Portrait of the Artist’s Wife [1901] Gandalf’s Gallery, Flickr.

“I visited many places,
Some of them quite
Exotic and far away,
But I always returned to myself.”

 Dejan Stojanovic

Quote 5

Andreas Geissel. Licht. 2020. Wikimedia Commons

“Outside our small safe place flies mystery.”

A. S. Byatt

This final quotation moves us from our safe space into the wider world. These are important words with which to end this post, because they remind us that there is a universe out there that we all have to negotiate on a daily basis.

We cannot shelter forever, and once we have recharged ourselves within the safety of our secret space, wherever that may be, then we must face the challenges, the problems and the experiences which life gives us, both good and bad. Outside the small, personal space we may have made for ourselves in which to feel safe and protected, is an endless and vast universe, facts that we cannot know, worlds we will never be able to negotiate. Our own little spaces are minuscule in comparison, and our human understanding will always be limited.

In her novel Possession, from which the above quotation is taken, A.S. Byatt reveals how people frequently use work and daily routines not just as temporary areas of safety, but as defences to hide behind, so that they do not have to face difficult feelings. The writer underlines the fact that, whilst such safe places may feel protective, they also prevent people from experiencing the wonders and pleasures of life, like love and creativity, as is powerfully shown through the characters in her book.

Eventually, if we wish to really live, we will need to move outside the safe space and discover the beauty of the world. The hope is that we will feel strengthened and empowered whilst in our hidden spaces to deal with whatever comes into our path, and will be able to value, and perhaps relish, the mystery and uncertainty that we encounter every day of our lives.

This blog is totally non profit-making. As a retired psychotherapist with over 30 years experience, I write both for my own self-expression and to help others.

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© Linda Berman.